As excited as I always am to add another Mr. to the collection, Mr. Sipp is just plain boring. Boring can, but even more importantly.. boring taste. What does it take to get a little pep (if you will) these days. It is made by Iris and distributed at Smart & Final stores in Arizona, california, Florida, Nevada, and Mexico. Mr. Sipp earns a two dr pepper can rating.
One part dr, three parts bitter, five parts water gives us Piggly Wiggly‘s Mr. Pig. I had been searching several Piggly Wigglys around the South for some time to find Mr. Pig, and I finally tracked him down in Columbia, SC. It seems that this drink can only be found in 3L bottles. The saving grace of Mr. Pig is his funny name, and he earns a two Dr Pepper can rating.
Mr Pibb must be Dr Pepper’s most successful competitor. Mr Pibb is a product of Coca-Cola, and has now mostly been replaced by Pibb Xtra. Despite what fast food and restaurant workers across the world might say, Mr Pibb is not the same thing as Dr Pepper. Mr Pibb tastes extremely weak in comparison to Dr Pepper. Mr Pibb earns a two Dr Pepper can rating. (I also might suggest that Mr Pibb should go back to school for more education before he tries to compete with the Dr.)
Through the SoBe brand, Pepsi briefly sold Mr. Green. In a self-aggrandizing way, Mr. Green has billed himself as an energizing flavored soda with ginseng. Despite the boast of ginseng (which in the past, has been the kiss of death for a dr) Mr. Green is amazingly tasty. It’s a truely unique taste, that I can only describe as an appropriate and effective use of spice. The marketing force behind Mr. Green seems to be the in-your-face-Xtreme type of advertising that has been used so often. There are over 20 slogans under the cap, including —
1. Get a Job [Good advice, but it’s this type of self-righteousness that knocked Mr. Green’s ranking from a 4.5 to 4 Dr Pepper can rating.]
2. Exercise your Brain
3. Lift Weights
4. Thank Your Parents
5. Use Spell Check
6. Raise Your Hand
7. Brush Your Teeth
8. Brush Your Hair
Although Mr. Ahhh!’s taste beats out many of the Dr imitations, his lack of motivation to seek out higher education prevents him from receiving a rating higher than three and a half Dr Pepper cans. Mr. Ahhh!’s name leads us to believe than he thinks that instead of imitating Dr Pepper, he is imitating Mr. You-Know-Who. Mr. Ahhh! is made by World Classics.
In 2003, Giant Eagle brand sodas took on a new look, including a new name for Mr. aahh. Not only did Mr. aahh apparently complete his post-graduate training, but he has also begun to capitalize his last name. How quickly they grow up.
The name gives it all away. Not nearly as refreshing as Mr. Ahhh!, Mr aahh earns a two Dr Pepper can rating. But I can’t let it go at that. Comparing the spelling to that of Mr. Ahhh!, I have to wonder – is aahh less aspirated? is aahh pronounced like Mr Æ? Why is this name so good that two stores have used it? Ah, well. Dr. Aahh / Mr. aahh is under the Giant Eagle brand, and was purchased at Giant Eagle in Western PA.
Mr. Aahh fans:
aahhbandits
Not Quite What the Doctor Ordered 